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Will this ever become second nature?

So I feel fat.  I did 50+ min of exercise my body is stiff and sore and I have more energy and i feel fat.  I think I'm obsessing about the scale again.  I'm doing fine and still can't stop thinking. recipes, workouts, calories, carbs. I browse the new post on 3fc hourly.  Not really looking for anything, just obsessing...blah.

Something else I think I had a micro binge, sounds weird...but not sure what else to call it.  After I work out especially not that I'm doing 2 separate workout videos I am famished about 15 min after.  I didn't have anything really ready to eat and I had to cook something for lunch and dinner, so I nibbled here and there.  it wasn't enough but it took the edge off.  I stopped at whole foods when I got to work and got some low carb stuff, but I added a half a spoonful of pasta to fill me a little more.  And I am obsess over all of that.  I know I didn't over do it.

For the supposed binge I had one small lamb pattie, 8 thai meatball, 1 glass almond milk and a 100 call snack.  No veggies in there.

something good I did get an idea for a salmon cucumber salad, but we'll see.  I think I'm kinda tired of cooking, but I think thats because I didn't make enough to last me all week.  I will chalk that up to my guest staying with me since I am cooking for 2 on a budget for 1. blah

So its wednesday and I'm praying for 349 on the scale.  It will give me my 1 lbs for the week.

I also  have to keep stopping myself from doing the scale math...if I lose xz amount of lbs every week for y weeks then I can be z weight by .  I am sticking to the 8 lbs a month goal even if I have to bop myself in the head.

Added Later
So I realized while I am obssessing over what I am eating I still ate and honestly can't feel all the bad about it. I didn't over do it and damn the scale. I did good today.  

Added Later
I had 2 junior burgers and they cut the hunger off, need more food.  Also tired of peeing so much and.  Working out is making me VERY SLEEPY.


Also I figured out my obsession with the scale.  I tried losing weight a month ago, ate  pretty much on plan for a month and gained 2 lbs.  I can't tell when I'm losing so everything is a guessing game till I get on the scale which is nerve wracking.

I would right more, but need sleep. blah
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