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Green Eyed Monster

Well I was thinking this weekend, my blog is always so positive, nothing bad has really happened. Well here is a negative. Being jealous of other peoples weight loss. It isn't that I don't want them to lose, but I wonder why can't I lose the way they do..... I've lost 16 pounds so far (I take the lowest number I see on the scale) and that's good and all, but there are people who have lost 25 lbs.....why can't that be me blah...There is also a woman who was exercising every day and did everything she was supposed to and every time I read her posts rather than be inspired I felt like whats the point I suck. I think it was she just made it sound so easy. Then she feel off the wagon and I said OK...she isn't superwoman. I guess what I am thinking is I need to do it the way I can do it...what works for me. She can't do what I do and I can't do what she does.....and hopefully we will both end up at the same place.

But I think it is because the applebees and eating when I wasn't hungry and not working out on the days I was supposed to. So I am already back to being more focused and really hoping for a 2 lbs lost next week. I really am trying to be in the 230s for march.

I also think part of it is while i am trying to be ok with whatever I lose. I WANT to be a size 24 by July. I know I will be crushed if I can't fit into a 24 by then. I need new clothes and refuse to buy them because I have no interest in anything bigger than a 24. I am pretty sure I am probably a tight 26. I haven't tested this theory, but my 28 clothes are much loser.

The other frustrating this is my goal by July is 320 (hopefully 299), but everything I've read says I won't hit a size 24 until I am about 250 which is my goal for the end of the year...ARGH....blah...sad Obie.

So I am trying not to plan, not be jealous and focus on what I know it working, and do it slow and steady. I know I could probably starve myself or get up at 4 am and exercise for 2 hours...but really I have no desire to do that. One woman posted she worked out 2 hours 6 days a week.....I was in awe....I could never do it. I like my bed, LOL and it likes me.

no I am going to stay the course. A year ago if I had told myself all the changes I had made and how well I am doing I wouldn't have believed it.

Went over board and bought the prevention fitness DVD -personal training yesterday. I am going to stick with the 3-2-1- circuit for this week and do that personal training next week. I also bought a Kathy smith, but she sounded SOOOOO annoying...we'll see.

I did the 3-2-1 yesterday and it was very cool. I can feel it in my shoulders. I was hoping my abs would be sore and wondering if I need to do a separate crunch workout.

I really want to get up to 5 days a week consistently so I am going to pack my laptop and the drop it in 30 DVD to bring to work and work out during lunch since I don't go out anymore.


Something else the huge inspiration for this my not boyfriend.....was listening to me this morning talk about what I was doing and felt guilty he isn't eating better. I hated that because I know what it feels like. He isn't over weight, but I think working 6-7 days a week 10 hours and be hell on trying to eat healthy. I am more worried about his having 2 diabetic parents and how that will affect (sp?) him in later life.

Ok....I think I am done...off the soapbox.

-V

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